


Phoenix

by Lyssandra_Med



Series: Lovingly Dysfunctional [13]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Cutesy shit, Dialogue-Only, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, King of the Hill got it right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25882249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyssandra_Med/pseuds/Lyssandra_Med
Summary: “Fucking Phoenix, exactly. A monument to man’s arrogance. People weren’t meant to live here.”“And yet they choose to, and so we’re here. So.”“So.”
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Bellatrix Black Lestrange
Series: Lovingly Dysfunctional [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1456105
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	Phoenix

**Author's Note:**

  * For [slytherinenigma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherinenigma/gifts).



> Dialogue only, fulfilling a prompt! Short n' sweet, no edit.

“It’s too hot. Who authorized this?”

“You did, if I recall. And if you’re overheating why the hell did you decide to wear black?”

“Because you didn’t tell me that this place would be an oven!”

“Oh by all the gods, stop being a drama queen. It’s not on fire right now, be happy for that. Usually that comes later in the season when everything that’s flammable has had a chance to dry.”

“That doesn’t actually help me right now, you know.”

“Oh, I know it doesn’t sweetheart. But you know what might help you?”

“No. Enlighten me, oh great and wonderful Hermione.”

“Change to something else. White, if you have it. Beige’ll do too.”

“You expect me to wear beige?”

“No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.”

“That’s still one of the worst films in group, and that’s with his tenure as a clown.”

“Oh really? Here I’d have thought you’d love Pussy Galore. And no, I don’t really expect you to listen to me. We’ve been married too long for me to believe that.”

“Well then what in the bloody hell do you expect me to do?”

“Oh, it’s quite simple really. And a short list.”

“Oh? Well, do tell.”

“Begins and ends with ‘whatever in the hell you want.’ But you know that already and you know I’m fine with it because if I wasn’t I’d have kicked your ass after that stunt you pulled on Andi. So, just do what you want. Just know that I’m advising you to wear something light, or reflective. You know. Something that isn’t black.”

“Well it’s not like I have anything to slip into. You didn’t exactly make it clear to me that we’d be wandering about on the surface of the sun.”

“Didn’t think I’d need to. The name should have clued you in, there’s a reason it’s called Phoenix after all.”

“Fucking Phoenix, exactly. A monument to man’s arrogance. People weren’t meant to live here.”

“And yet they choose to, and so we’re here. So.”

“So.”

“You can stop by the mall if you’d like-”

“What, and let Cissa see how far I’ve fallen?”

“I’ve told you before, falling to your knees is reserved for the bedroom. If she’s seen you there then we have more problems to worry about than you being hot. All the same, I’d prefer it if you didn’t end up in a casket by the end of the day. Heatstroke still kills.”

“Oh, and this is a longshot I know but hear me out, I think it might really help. We could leave.”

“Oh! I hadn’t thought of that! We could leave! You’re right. And I’m sure that Delphi would love to know that her wonderful mother decided it was a great idea to skip out on graduation because she couldn’t wear anything other than black.”

“She won’t notice. She doesn’t have eyes for us anymore. We’re just the old people who paid her tuition now.”

“While I’ll agree that she likely won’t notice, we’re staying. It’s not every day that you get to watch your child graduate.”

“We could just buy a recording of it. Or watch it online. I’m sure they have someone doing all that. Oh, we could buy a DVD. Your father still has a player for those, right?”

“We will not be buying a DVD of our daughter’s graduation until after we’ve seen it with out own two eyes.”

“Four.”

“Four what?”

“Eyes. You and me. Two apiece. Come on Hermione, let’s count on our fingers-”

“Fuck you. Regardless, she’ll be looking for us. And don’t you want to watch her strut across that stage? You can gloat to all the other parents. Loudly even. Oh, you can rub it in Andi’s face when we’re done!”

“She was quite smug about Nymph. Could stand to come down a peg or two.”

“Mhm. It’s not every day that you child graduates as the valedictorian. We should be there for her, right?”

“Right.”

“And so that means…?”

“Fuck you.”

“Hm, no. You can make good on that later, right now we have places to be. Let’s just get you changed and then get a move on, shall we? I want to take a tour of the University first. Neville said he’d bring us around to see his experiment.”

“The Mars thing?”

“The Mars thing. He’s had his students running it for the past semester, I want to see it in person before we go. You don’t have to come with if you don’t want to-”

“No, no. I will. It’s interesting and all it’s just…”

“Just what?”

“How warm is that going to be?”

“I don’t know. Whatever temperature plants are able to survive at, I suppose. Or the same as Mars. Either way, you should go and change your clothes already.”

“Do I need to wear something different for that? I don’t want to get any of my good clothes all dirty.”

“No, we’re not allowed to touch anything. He’s growing all the plants but they’re the property of the University. If we manage to fuck something up he might actually go and kill us.”

“That’s if Delphi hasn’t beaten us to it.”

“...Bellatrix. What makes you say that?”

“Oh, nothing. Don’t worry your pretty little head over that.”

“Bella.”

“Yes, love?”

“Change. Now. And then we’re continuing this conversation in the car.”

“Oh, but I might need some help getting changed. This heat has affected me so terribly, I find I’m much too faint to get it done alone.”

But Hermione had already turned to leave their little suite, her middle finger in the air and a smirk reflecting back at Bellatrix through the mirror.


End file.
